This month, more than most, I've needed at least a few mental health checks. Moments, hours, possibly days to just recharge my head. I have no idea if it is the darkness that hovers over Alaska during the winter months that makes me feel this way. Apparently, we have one of the highest rates of seasonal depression -- depression altogether -- in the entire country.
I'm not depressed, though. I know I'm not, because I still find good in the little things. It's the optimist in me. Sometimes though, that optimist shuts off and over analyzes even the most miniscule conflicts.
It's those times when I find myself looking into the mirror, scowling, raising a brow and trying to figure out if being broken seems like a good fit for the day. Obviously, it never is. Today, I looked at myself in the mirror hanging on my office wall and mouthed, "Is this even okay?"
I work through it all and sometimes forget that even when I don't feel 100%, I am still privileged to be worried about what is frustrating me.
I am privileged to be worried about fulfilling my education goals.
I am privileged to be educated.
I am privileged to be frustrated at work.
I am privileged to have a job.
I am privileged to think about how much money I have.
I am privileged to have money.
I am privileged.
Today, every day that is left, I will start thinking about which of my frustrations come from a place of privilege. And, with that, try to understand that it matters only for a brief passage of my life. I also encourage you to think about the things that drive you mad and hopefully understand that we are all so lucky to be so mad.
~ Shayne