Change of Plans: Poutine and Family

I don’t know how safe it is to say this, but I’m quite certain that everyone has had plans that don’t ever really pan out as they had envisioned. This can be anything from lifelong goals or, in my case, a five-day trip that was supposed to be spent in Seattle.

Instead, I found myself jumping the border, entering some parallel Canadian universe, and making Vancouver my home for three days.

The night before my trip to visit my best friend in Seattle on October 22nd, my mom sent me a text message letting me know that her uncle had just passed away. Now, in Filipino terms, an “uncle” is any distant, remote, maybe even 500 times removed, male elder. Still, out of respect, my mom wanted to let her condolences be felt no matter how distant the relation (which, I found later to not be that far off).After talking with my mom, I let my best friend Amanda know that I may be booking it to Canada as soon as I put my bags down next to her futon and settle into her studio apartment. She understood, of course, because no one owes their best friend explanations when your mother tells you to do something. Matter of fact, you don’t owe anyone an explanation when your mother tells you to do something. I digress.

I left for Seattle on a Wednesday afternoon and landed at about 8pm that night. Amanda's boyfriend picked me up and he drove me to Greenwood where Amanda's studio is. After scarfing down two homemade quesadillas, washing up and catching up with my best friend, I scoured through every possible bus option there was to get me from Seattle to Vancouver.

I ended up going with Bolt and caught the Thursday, 6pm bus from Seattle's International District to Vancouver's Central Pacific Station. The itinerary said it would take 4 hours, but our bus driver got us there in a little under 3 hours drive time. This was, by far, the best long-distance bus ride I've ever had in my life -- leg room, plug-ins, wifi and an Australian seat buddy who shared her kettle corn with me and told me stories about teaching American children. All of this, round trip cost me just $42.50 including tax.

I arrived in Vancouver on Thursday, 10pm. My Auntie Alice and her husband Larry picked me up from the Central Pacific Station and from there, since it was my first time in Vancouver, Uncle Larry took the initiative to literally drive through the entire city and take me sightseeing (from the car) in the dark. We picked up some authentic Chinese food from a little place called Sandy La and called it a night afterward. When we arrived to their house, I met my cousin Lynden who is a freakishly alternate universe male version of me -- we've got the distinctive cheekbones and face shape that run in our Moms' side of the family. The only difference is that he's inherited his eyes from his dad. I also met my grandmother's (both maternal and paternal) cousin, Aunt Alice's mom.

Now, here's where the freaky parallel universe stuff comes in again. Auntie Alice looks exactly like my mother and her mother, "Nanang," looks exactly like my maternal grandmother. However, since Nanang is related to me on both sides of my family (No, my parents aren't cousins. They just lived in a small town.), she feels more connected to me through my dad's side of the family and my paternal grandmother who she affectionately referred to as "Ate." Confusing you yet? Imagine being me. 

It was really my first time meeting both Auntie Alice and Nanang, but we chatted until about 2:30am about memories of La Union, how Auntie Alice and my dad were basically best friends, how my mother was known to stand up for herself and the more vulnerable, and how my parents actually ended up getting married. It was nice and strange to feel so connected so quickly, but that's how family is, especially considering Filipinos and their value on being family oriented no matter how distant.

The next day was like a mad dash through West Vancouver and downtown. Auntie Alice took me to their waterfront and Fly Over Canada where I got to virtually experience the entire country. It was a short trip and I appreciated that she took the time to show me a few sights. She even took me to the Vancouver Lookout Tower so I could see the entire city, or at least as far out as possible.

 on Oct 10, 2014 at 2:42pm PDT

The night before the memorial service, I had the chance to sit down and hang out with Lynden and his girlfriend over a couple drinks at the house. It was interesting to line up different aspects of Alaskan-American culture with his Canadian upbringing. We didn't talk much but I got the sense that he's really similar to me. I mean, I did hear him listening to Lauryn Hill, DFD, and some other familiar songs while I was doing my hair in the morning. I also met Nathan, Lynden's younger brother, and surprisingly he was pretty open with me and not so closed-off. He even offered me his laptop if I was bored.

On Saturday, the mood in the house was pretty somber. It made sense though because it was the day of the memorial service. Poor Auntie Alice had been worried about what she would say in her eulogy and my cousins were all gathered talking about what they would say, too. I did feel quite out of place because I didn't know their grandfather at all and I was just a mere representative for my parents who knew him from their childhood and last saw him a few years ago. The service did go without a hitch but, of course, there was a river of tears from all of the grandchildren and Auntie Alice. I did find some relatives I noticed from my childhood in Philippines and they were surprised to see me in Canada. After the service, there was a reception which is traditional in Filipino culture as a way to thank those who offered their condolences. 

At the reception, I met my cousin Chedney, nicknamed "Bong Bong" after the son of a former president of the Philippines. Remember the whole parallel universe thing? Well, it all culminated when I met Chedney. Literally every detail of our lives was almost exactly the same with a few twists.

1. We were born in La Union and lived there until we immigrated to different countries at a young age. He moved to Canada, I move to America.
2. He has a younger sibling, a sister, more than a decade younger than him.
3. He was a hip hop dancer. I was a hip hop dancer.
4. He met his long-term girlfriend through high school and dance. Yup, you guessed it. I met Shawn in the same circumstances.
5. He even has a copy of Notorious B.I.G.'s Ready to Die in his car. I have a copy of this CD in my car, too. CREEPY.

And the craziest of all? You know that story that Auntie Alice and Nanang told me about how my parents really ended up getting married? Well, let's just say if my dad and Chedney's dad weren't best friends growing up and if Chedney's dad had married someone else other than his mom -- neither Chedney or I would exist.

He insisted that we hung out before I made my way back to Seattle again. So, I literally spent the rest of my Saturday night with Chedney and his friends, including his girlfriend Sonia who is a complete sweetheart. We bonded over poutine -- my first bowl ever -- and found ourselves in a really awkward bar but still made the most of it. We shared stories about how we would were punished by our dads and how alike they seemed to be. I even got to know about where he works, what he sees himself doing, and his affinity for Nikes.

 on Oct 10, 2014 at 1:02am PDT

There are definitely times in our lives where we face abrupt decisions and have to make a choice right then and there. Sometimes these choices are simple, a yes or no. Other times, like my decision to go to Canada, they involve a little sacrifice like derailing your plans or having to rebuild them. At first, I was pretty disappointed that I was left with just a short time in Seattle. However, after I spent time with my cousins, got to know family from my parents' pasts, I felt right at home. It only goes to show that sometimes, the best plans are those you never saw coming.